How Caregivers Deal With Private Matters

How Caregivers Deal With Private Matters 

Do caregivers deal with private matters?  In other words, deal with issues that otherwise is something we don’t normally have to think about when giving care to others.

Human nature is a very private matter, yet needs to be addressed when others have a hard time remembering things.

That matter is sexuality.

Deal with Private Matters

When you are caring for your parents, you never really want to think about their intimate relationships.   For me, it wasn’t something I shared with them and not really wanted to think about theirs. Yet, it came up and I did some research.

Here is what I found when coping with changes in intimacy and how it can change or not change when a person develops dementia.  Think about that for a minute. It is a stimulation but also a decision on the right course of action. You are still alive and those feelings never really seem to go away.

When I researched this subject, I found many sources for this is a big topic others need to be aware of, especially if you are a caregiver for someone other than your spouse. Here is an article that sums it up.  https://www.caregiver.org/print/154

Changes that Deal With Private Matters

Alzheimer’s and Dementia can cause changes in intimacy and sexuality in both a person with the disease and the caregiver. When things affect your memory you may start to worry, have fear and depression or develop low self-esteem.  This can lead to becoming dependent on or cling to someone else. They may not remember ones in their life and fall in love with someone else.  

Dementia can cause changes in emotions and how others may act.   A once happy person can become aggressive and angry. They might tend to lash out and fight back.  Other tendencies may become physical or abusive. Even a sexual drive can change, depending on where in the brain your sensors are affected.  

Uncharacteristic behavior is part of this illness and you may see many changes that you don’t normally think about.  Be aware that this can happen and give support to those that need it.

Coping with Changes in Intimacy

It is important when you are caring for someone that they are:

Loved

Safe

Cared about.

When doing this their need to cling or being around others will not be quite as awkward.  Also, this disease or medications for this can affect his or her interests. To make this more appealing, try exploring new ways of spending time together.  Focus on other ways to show affection, holding hands is great and not in appropriate. Also, hugging or dancing may help with this feeling.

Here is another article that has a lot more information that may help you also:

This guide focuses on dementia and sexuality, intimacy and sexual behavior in care homes – a subject which remains one of the last taboos of long-term care. The onset of old age or a cognitive impairment does not erase the need for affection, intimacy and/or relationships and yet this aspect of ageing has often been ignored and sidelined in policy and practice. While the issues involved can be complex, controversial and sensitive and may challenge our own beliefs and value system, it is essential that we understand more about them to foster a more person-centered approach to dementia care. Care home residents with dementia often have complex care needs and trying to understand and respond to the more intimate and sexual aspects of a resident’s personality can be challenging.  Read more here: https://ilcuk.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/pdf_pdf_184.pdf

You need to remember that just because you have aged, you still need loving, safe relationships and a caring touch.  

Also,   if you feel you need more.  Here is a book that I also found.  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/17897693-sexuality-and-dementia

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