Communicating Feelings To Serve Others

Do you communicate feelings to serve others?  When we show our feelings and emotions, it can be either receptive or damaging.

Many people are constantly trying to deny their feelings for fear that others will see their weakness or judge them as being irrational and aggressive. However, these are common misconceptions and can cause damage as time goes by.

I see it in my mom a lot, when I go to visit.   She has stage 4 dementia and has trouble remembering or following along with the conversation.   Her mind will bring in an old memory and mix it with the conversation to where it really makes no sense.   

The problem that happens is that my father will correct her and tell you she is crazy and how that isn’t right.    What he doesn’t see is that his thoughts are different than hers and this is very hurtful to her. Above all, it confuses her more.

It can happen to any of us when we share our feelings with others.  Therefore, communicate feelings to serve others not the other way around.

Here is one of my favorite things that others say:   “Don’t cry, it will be OK”. How do they know it will be OK.  Crying is a very healthy thing to do. If you hold your emotions back it can cause damage in your mind.

Communicate feelings  

Those who show emotions and feelings need to be consoled not diminished.   Nothing good can come out of keeping your emotions inside and telling others to do the same.   It is encouraged to get support from family and friends, talk it out and find the things that will make you smile again.

The things that come out should be of sorrow or anger that will solve the problem.  In other words, finding a way to let others know how you feel and help them see the problem as well.

Here is another old saying, “just walk in their shoes for a while and you will know”  which doesn’t work. Understanding deep down what others feel under certain circumstances can’t be done.  We all take things differently and respond differently. It is impossible to truly walk in someone else’s shoes.

Communicate by Caring and Listening To Serve

We can learn to be caring.  There are many things that we can control.  Our own thoughts and how we answer what we hear.  Caring for others comes from learning to love and showing how we care for what we are doing.  

Listening is another skill that can be learned.   Even though most people like to talk about themselves, when we listen and know what others are saying, only then will we be heard.  

Feelings Come From Awareness To Serve

Awareness will make you strong and more knowledgeable.  When our awareness is in tune with the situation then our feelings will be communicated the right way.   This is where empathy comes into play.

We can distinguish between cognitive and emotional empathy.  Cognitive empathy means the ability to understand emotions and motives, while emotional empathy assumes that you “feel” them.  

Learn to show your feelings as a tool.  Keep them in control, yet let them show.  Remember that no one can feel what you feel, and assuming otherwise can make the situation worse.  Don’t expect what is out of your control.

Here are 8 things to consider to help your awareness

  1. Don’t put expectations on others
  2. Consider what your intentions are in the situation
  3. Don’t use “hurtful” words even if you think you are joking.  Others take it differently.
  4. What hurts you may not hurt others
  5. Try not to exclude people
  6. Remember you are not perfect either
  7. If you can’t say things to someones face, then don’t text them either.
  8. Be real

Communicating your feelings to serve others will not only open up your life, but you will have a glow around you that will shine on others.

Keep Smiling

Sandy

Related Posts:

What is a Caregiver’s Mindset | Control the Good or Bad?

Wrong Ways to Smile In Taking Care Of Others

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